May 10 2010

Mother’s Day

How blessed I am to be “Mommy” to my two sweet and funny boys!  Mother’s Day is always a good opportunity to sit down and think about all the ways in which being a mother brings me so much joy…

  • God gave me my two boys with their specific personalities.  I think it is SO CRAZY how different my two boys are, but yet I can love them both.  JL with his tender heart and his love for reading and Caleb with his comical spirit and his love for all things round.  JL loves to sleep and eat, but Caleb struggles with both of those areas (which means more gray hairs and fine wrinkles around my eyes for me).  JL with his fair, white skin and hazel eyes…Caleb with his darker, olive-colored skin and eyes blacker than my own.  It takes a little while to draw JL out of his shell and get him to open up, but anyone can read Caleb because he pretty much wears his emotions on his sleeve.  They are unique…the way God made them to be.  How fun it is to see their little personalities unravel over time!
  • Being a mom serves to sanctify me.  The Lord has used motherhood to reveal to me sins in my heart…anger, discontentment, selfishness, impatience, and self-centeredness are only a few of them.  I am thankful for sleepless nights, waves of constant disciplining, tight budgets, constant clutter and endless piles of laundry.  For one, they PROVE that I a mother of two kids, but secondly, I have LEARNED that through these hard things, God is teaching me what it means to put others before myself.  Sometimes I can do it with a joyful heart and sometimes I can’t, but we’re all a work in process, right?
  • I love being a mom with Ben by my side as the leader of our home.  He works HARD to do well at all things handed to him and parenting is one area in which he certainly excels.  I enjoy watching him patiently train JL to be a man of self-control, courage, servant-heartedness and bravery.  I love watching him do the icky things like cleaning out poopy cloth diapers, but still with a smile on his face.  The giggles he can solicit from the boys by tackling, tickling and wrestling with them are absolutely priceless.  Ben has had such a huge hand in forming what our family looks like and I am so thankful!
  • I have learned that people are more important than things, which has brought me much joy.  Being at home with the boys means that we have less money to go all around, but IT IS WORTH IT!  Stylish clothing, trendy furniture, regularly eating out are itty, bitty luxuries compared to the value I have found in being at home with the kids.
  • I love that my boys are my constant companions (for now…until they are embarassed to be seen hanging out with me).  We do Harris Teeter Triples together, we cruise around Target and look at shoes, we check out books at the library, we go to the park, we do chores around the house, we sing songs and giggle together…and the list keeps going.
  • They teach me about Jesus, day in and day out.  How much I need Jesus, how much they need Jesus and how much the Gospel can enrich our lives and our relationships.  JL always thanks God in his prayers how He will never leave us or forsake us…so true!

I am so grateful that God has given me two great little boys to train up in the righteousness of the Lord and that He equips me to carry out such a daunting task.  Praise be to God, the Giver of Life!

Thank you, Dana, for these pictures taken at church!  I will end on this note…here’s a picture of an artistic masterpiece by my husband and boys!

Did you see JL’s coloring job?  I like how he colored in his own eyeballs.  Kinda demonic-looking, huh?  Ben suggested he NOT color in anyone else’s eyeballs.  JL happily agreed.


Apr 23 2010

Thankful for YouTube

My husband e-mailed me today with a link for a YouTube video that he thought would encourage me today.  It was so RIGHT ON!  The video is of John Piper preaching a sermon about the Word of God abiding in the hearts of His people.  This past week has been tough for several different reasons…busy-ness, lack of quality time with my husband, Caleb coming down with the norovirus, not feeling well myself…but when it really gets down to it, the reason why my week has been so super-duper tough is because I have not been been delighting in the promises of God.  I have not been meditating on God’s Word, so I certainly have not been fighting the lies of Satan which have been barraging me this week.

So my dear husband who knows me so well sends me a few sweet words and this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOkLP6VHtWk&feature=related How awesome that God has given me a husband who cares for me even when I am despairing in every way possible.  How much more wonderful that God has given me His unchanging, life-filled Word.  My friends will fail me, my husband will fail me, my own heart will fail to believe in truth, but even so…

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26

So, if you get the chance today, I would very much encourage you to check out the above link!  Sit down, fold a few loads of laundry, do some dirty dishes, whatever…it is well worth your time.  Thanks, YouTube!


Mar 23 2010

Provision and Transition, Part 1

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve been blogging consistently, but I do have a good reason this time around.  Let me fill you in…

On the evening of March 1st, Ben was told by his boss that the company was being bought and that everyone would be out of jobs by the 12th.  Wow.  When Ben came home and told me this news, so many emotions rushed through my body.  Anger, fear and anxiety were probably the ones to top the list.  Having walked through the trial of unemployment in my own family growing up and walking through it with some close friends of ours recently, I knew that this was NOT something I wanted to go through.  Call me selfish and call me a wimp, but I prefer life to be easy and convenient.  I mean, don’t we all?  However, God knows me better than that and He knows that it is only through trials and hardships when I realize my utter need for Him.  So, as those next long 11 days progressed, I clung to God and His promises.  I made sure to surround myself with the Gospel ALL THE TIME…listening to sermons, listening to worship music, meditating on Scripture, reading my Bible with the kids.  What I have learned from that time is that I need to be doing this EVERY day.  Every day is a battle to believe God’s promises and to trust in His provision.  It’s just easier to ignore it when my husband is actually employed.

So, that first week in March zipped by.  Ben and I didn’t really know what we were going to do.  He had been job hunting for months, but to no avail.  We were under contract to buy a house in downtown Raleigh, but that would fall through as well with no employment.  Come June, we would have nowhere to live.  We really were at a crossroads and extremely discouraged.  But, God surrounded us with wonderful friends at our church who called and e-mailed words of encouragement.  They reminded us of how big our God is and how we had no need to worry.  We had offers from close friends to stay with them in their homes while we figured things out.  The love and support we felt was overwhelming.

Then things began to take a turn without us really knowing it yet.  The company that had bought Ben’s current company just happened to have a position open.  They had actually hired someone that first week in March, but it fell through the 2nd week.  Ben had a chance to interview 4 days before being unemployed and they offered him the position.  People, it’s a position for programming!  My husband is a designer, not a programmer.  But, they wanted him anyway.  His last day at Kenosis was on the 12th and he immediately started work on the 15th at North Star.  We were amazed!  Ben did not go one day unemployed.  The Lord knew our needs and provided.  I’m still in awe over this.

Our God is a PROVIDER.  He gives us what He determines is good for us, whether that is a new job or unemployment.  He is our Good Provider either way.  I have to remember this as I share with you the next part of this story.  Ben’s new job is in Burlington–a 1 hour and 10 minute commute from Wake Forest one way.  Eek!  Ben leaves the house at 6:10 AM and doesn’t get back until 6 PM in the evening.  I know that doesn’t sound terribly awful, but it is quite the transition for our little family.  I am used to having Ben work 5 minutes away!  Also, we are night owls.  We are accustomed to going to bed at midnight, but none of that anymore.  We gotta be in bed by 10 PM now (if not earlier!).  This is a challenge for us.  In addition, Ben and I just don’t have much alone time together.  With our other commitments and the long commute, Ben and I have maybe two nights a week where we can just catch up with one another.  This is when I am tempted to grumble.  I am tempted to grumble like the Israelites did when they were brought out of Egypt.  God delivered them in miraculous and powerful ways from the hands of the Egyptians who were oppressing them, but yet they still found reason to grumble.  I am the same way.  God gave my husband a new job the day after he lost his old job and I complain!  Chief of sinners, that is what I am.

However, a friend of mine e-mailed me yesterday some helpful tips on how to practically deal with this time of transition for our family withOUT grumbling.

1.) Have a heart of thankfulness.  Reflecting on God’s goodness toward me, not just in the provision of a job, but in the fact that He saved me even while I was still a dirty, horrible sinner.

2.) Be realistic in the expectations I set for myself.  With Ben being gone more and not having his help, I cannot resort to doing it all on my own.  I have been making a list of ten things to do with the highest priority ones at the top.  Whatever doesn’t get done rolls over into the next day’s to-do list.  Plus, it’s helpful for me to remember that only God gets His to-do list done.

3.) Take a break.  When I’m exhausted and the kids are fussy and crying at the same time and my house is a disaster, take the time to fall to my knees and plead with God to help me.  Also, taking a small nap in the afternoon with your kids is not a crime.

4.) Realize what I can or cannot do.  I have to say “no” sometimes to social events or even different ministry opportunities, however fun or good they might be.  My job is to take care of my husband, kids and home first.

5.) Rely on others.  Accept help from others when offered.  I tend to thrive on self-sufficiency.  How prideful is that, right?

So, rejoice with us and pray for us.  REJOICE because my husband has a job!  PRAY because it is hard to have him gone 60 hours a week, on top of our other commitments.  My desire is that as a family, we would endure with joy and perseverance so that Christ may be seen as more beautiful to those around us.  Thank you, friends!

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