How blessed I am to be “Mommy” to my two sweet and funny boys!  Mother’s Day is always a good opportunity to sit down and think about all the ways in which being a mother brings me so much joy…

• God gave me my two boys with their specific personalities.  I think it is SO CRAZY how different my two boys are, but yet I can love them both.  JL with his tender heart and his love for reading and Caleb with his comical spirit and his love for all things round.  JL loves to sleep and eat, but Caleb struggles with both of those areas (which means more gray hairs and fine wrinkles around my eyes for me).  JL with his fair, white skin and hazel eyes…Caleb with his darker, olive-colored skin and eyes blacker than my own.  It takes a little while to draw JL out of his shell and get him to open up, but anyone can read Caleb because he pretty much wears his emotions on his sleeve.  They are unique…the way God made them to be.  How fun it is to see their little personalities unravel over time!
• Being a mom serves to sanctify me.  The Lord has used motherhood to reveal to me sins in my heart…anger, discontentment, selfishness, impatience, and self-centeredness are only a few of them.  I am thankful for sleepless nights, waves of constant disciplining, tight budgets, constant clutter and endless piles of laundry.  For one, they PROVE that I a mother of two kids, but secondly, I have LEARNED that through these hard things, God is teaching me what it means to put others before myself.  Sometimes I can do it with a joyful heart and sometimes I can’t, but we’re all a work in process, right?
• I love being a mom with Ben by my side as the leader of our home.  He works HARD to do well at all things handed to him and parenting is one area in which he certainly excels.  I enjoy watching him patiently train JL to be a man of self-control, courage, servant-heartedness and bravery.  I love watching him do the icky things like cleaning out poopy cloth diapers, but still with a smile on his face.  The giggles he can solicit from the boys by tackling, tickling and wrestling with them are absolutely priceless.  Ben has had such a huge hand in forming what our family looks like and I am so thankful!
• I have learned that people are more important than things, which has brought me much joy.  Being at home with the boys means that we have less money to go all around, but IT IS WORTH IT!  Stylish clothing, trendy furniture, regularly eating out are itty, bitty luxuries compared to the value I have found in being at home with the kids.
• I love that my boys are my constant companions (for now…until they are embarassed to be seen hanging out with me).  We do Harris Teeter Triples together, we cruise around Target and look at shoes, we check out books at the library, we go to the park, we do chores around the house, we sing songs and giggle together…and the list keeps going.
• They teach me about Jesus, day in and day out.  How much I need Jesus, how much they need Jesus and how much the Gospel can enrich our lives and our relationships.  JL always thanks God in his prayers how He will never leave us or forsake us…so true!

I am so grateful that God has given me two great little boys to train up in the righteousness of the Lord and that He equips me to carry out such a daunting task.  Praise be to God, the Giver of Life!

Thank you, Dana, for these pictures taken at church!  I will end on this note…here’s a picture of an artistic masterpiece by my husband and boys!

Did you see JL’s coloring job?  I like how he colored in his own eyeballs.  Kinda demonic-looking, huh?  Ben suggested he NOT color in anyone else’s eyeballs.  JL happily agreed.

My husband e-mailed me today with a link for a YouTube video that he thought would encourage me today.  It was so RIGHT ON!  The video is of John Piper preaching a sermon about the Word of God abiding in the hearts of His people.  This past week has been tough for several different reasons…busy-ness, lack of quality time with my husband, Caleb coming down with the norovirus, not feeling well myself…but when it really gets down to it, the reason why my week has been so super-duper tough is because I have not been been delighting in the promises of God.  I have not been meditating on God’s Word, so I certainly have not been fighting the lies of Satan which have been barraging me this week.

So my dear husband who knows me so well sends me a few sweet words and this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOkLP6VHtWk&feature=related How awesome that God has given me a husband who cares for me even when I am despairing in every way possible.  How much more wonderful that God has given me His unchanging, life-filled Word.  My friends will fail me, my husband will fail me, my own heart will fail to believe in truth, but even so…

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26

So, if you get the chance today, I would very much encourage you to check out the above link!  Sit down, fold a few loads of laundry, do some dirty dishes, whatever…it is well worth your time.  Thanks, YouTube!

On the evening of March 1st, Ben was told by his boss that the company was being bought and that everyone would be out of jobs by the 12th.  Wow.  When Ben came home and told me this news, so many emotions rushed through my body.  Anger, fear and anxiety were probably the ones to top the list.  Having walked through the trial of unemployment in my own family growing up and walking through it with some close friends of ours recently, I knew that this was NOT something I wanted to go through.  Call me selfish and call me a wimp, but I prefer life to be easy and convenient.  I mean, don’t we all?  However, God knows me better than that and He knows that it is only through trials and hardships when I realize my utter need for Him.  So, as those next long 11 days progressed, I clung to God and His promises.  I made sure to surround myself with the Gospel ALL THE TIME…listening to sermons, listening to worship music, meditating on Scripture, reading my Bible with the kids.  What I have learned from that time is that I need to be doing this EVERY day.  Every day is a battle to believe God’s promises and to trust in His provision.  It’s just easier to ignore it when my husband is actually employed.

So, that first week in March zipped by.  Ben and I didn’t really know what we were going to do.  He had been job hunting for months, but to no avail.  We were under contract to buy a house in downtown Raleigh, but that would fall through as well with no employment.  Come June, we would have nowhere to live.  We really were at a crossroads and extremely discouraged.  But, God surrounded us with wonderful friends at our church who called and e-mailed words of encouragement.  They reminded us of how big our God is and how we had no need to worry.  We had offers from close friends to stay with them in their homes while we figured things out.  The love and support we felt was overwhelming.

Then things began to take a turn without us really knowing it yet.  The company that had bought Ben’s current company just happened to have a position open.  They had actually hired someone that first week in March, but it fell through the 2nd week.  Ben had a chance to interview 4 days before being unemployed and they offered him the position.  People, it’s a position for programming!  My husband is a designer, not a programmer.  But, they wanted him anyway.  His last day at Kenosis was on the 12th and he immediately started work on the 15th at North Star.  We were amazed!  Ben did not go one day unemployed.  The Lord knew our needs and provided.  I’m still in awe over this.

Our God is a PROVIDER.  He gives us what He determines is good for us, whether that is a new job or unemployment.  He is our Good Provider either way.  I have to remember this as I share with you the next part of this story.  Ben’s new job is in Burlington–a 1 hour and 10 minute commute from Wake Forest one way.  Eek!  Ben leaves the house at 6:10 AM and doesn’t get back until 6 PM in the evening.  I know that doesn’t sound terribly awful, but it is quite the transition for our little family.  I am used to having Ben work 5 minutes away!  Also, we are night owls.  We are accustomed to going to bed at midnight, but none of that anymore.  We gotta be in bed by 10 PM now (if not earlier!).  This is a challenge for us.  In addition, Ben and I just don’t have much alone time together.  With our other commitments and the long commute, Ben and I have maybe two nights a week where we can just catch up with one another.  This is when I am tempted to grumble.  I am tempted to grumble like the Israelites did when they were brought out of Egypt.  God delivered them in miraculous and powerful ways from the hands of the Egyptians who were oppressing them, but yet they still found reason to grumble.  I am the same way.  God gave my husband a new job the day after he lost his old job and I complain!  Chief of sinners, that is what I am.

However, a friend of mine e-mailed me yesterday some helpful tips on how to practically deal with this time of transition for our family withOUT grumbling.

1.) Have a heart of thankfulness.  Reflecting on God’s goodness toward me, not just in the provision of a job, but in the fact that He saved me even while I was still a dirty, horrible sinner.

2.) Be realistic in the expectations I set for myself.  With Ben being gone more and not having his help, I cannot resort to doing it all on my own.  I have been making a list of ten things to do with the highest priority ones at the top.  Whatever doesn’t get done rolls over into the next day’s to-do list.  Plus, it’s helpful for me to remember that only God gets His to-do list done.

3.) Take a break.  When I’m exhausted and the kids are fussy and crying at the same time and my house is a disaster, take the time to fall to my knees and plead with God to help me.  Also, taking a small nap in the afternoon with your kids is not a crime.

4.) Realize what I can or cannot do.  I have to say “no” sometimes to social events or even different ministry opportunities, however fun or good they might be.  My job is to take care of my husband, kids and home first.

5.) Rely on others.  Accept help from others when offered.  I tend to thrive on self-sufficiency.  How prideful is that, right?

So, rejoice with us and pray for us.  REJOICE because my husband has a job!  PRAY because it is hard to have him gone 60 hours a week, on top of our other commitments.  My desire is that as a family, we would endure with joy and perseverance so that Christ may be seen as more beautiful to those around us.  Thank you, friends!

Over the course of our marriage, we have had to work on implementing date nights into our weekly schedules.  It has not been easy for a number of reasons…

1.) When we first got married, we just didn’t communicate very well.  I had expectations, Ben had expectations, we would both get discouraged and we would avoid dates altogether.

2.) Eight months into marriage, we found out we were expecting our first child.  I battled some nausea and a lot of fatigue, so date nights were just not on the forefront of our minds.

3.) Then we had Joshua Lee and when you have kids, it means that they either come with you on your date (which means you’re not REALLY on a date) or  you have to hunt down a babysitter AND be willing to trust your child in another person’s hands.  Needless to say, we had a few dates, but not a lot.

4.) Then we moved to North Carolina, where we essentially had to start our lives over.  New church, new friends, new restaurants, etc.  Once we made some friends, we went on a few more dates, but they were still few and far between.

SO, WHAT HAVE I LEARNED?  Date nights are a luxury.  Don’t take them for granted, but ALSO…aim to have them often.  Ideally once a week, but we shoot for twice a month.  Whenever we come home from a date, Ben and I are rejuvenated in our love for one another.  It is so, so good to have several hours to talk about what God is doing in our hearts and lives without any distractions.  It is FUN to laugh and flirt with each other and hold hands like in our early dating days.  It is wonderful to be reminded of the reasons why I married Ben in the first place.  What are you waiting for, you married folks?  Go on a date!  Make time for it…it’s worthwhile for your marriage.

Let me tell you about our most recent date.  Thanks to our sweet and generous friend, Kristin, we were able to check out a snazzy restaurant called Thaiphoon Bistro a couple weeks ago.

Wow, was the food amazing (and spicy)!  Not only that, but the ambience and the decor of the place was right up our alley.  We were truly spoiled that night.  Afterward, we swung by Cold Stone and shared a small ice cream.  It was absolutely wonderful!  What a blessing it was to spend one-on-one time with my dear husband.  My encouragement to you married couples out there…the dating doesn’t stop with marriage!

• The One who loves me steadfastly.
• The One who died on the cross to save me from my ugly sin.
• The One who has redeemed me and made me one of His very own.
• The One who is faithful toward His children, even when they are faithless.
• The One who gives eternal life.
• The One who saved me from God’s wrath and showered me with His mercy by the shedding of His blood on the cross.

2.) Ben

• My dear husband who, with God’s help, has led us through thick and thin.  He has seen me on my worst days and yet chooses to stay married to me!
• My dear husband who shares my first love, Jesus.  Ben loves our Savior more than life itself.  He even loves Him more than me and the boys…that is totally fine with me.
• My dear husband who tirelessly works hard to provide for our family’s needs.  He has a full plate of responsiblities, but even on the most stressful and discouraging work days, he is not prone to grumble.  I could stand to learn a lot from him.
• My dear husband who loves our boys so much.  Some of his favorite things to do with them lately is to tackle and tickle them until they can barely breathe.  Reading the Chronicles of Narnia and the Bible with them are also a high point of his day.
• My dear husband who seeks to serve others.  I often find him joyfully attacking the pile of dishes in the sink after dinner, taking out our stinky trash, washing out poopy cloth diapers or cleaning up the Leggett home after community group.
• My dear husband who always lets me have the last French fry, brings a glass of water to put on my nightstand at bedtime, warms up the cold sheets for me, puts gas in my car so I don’t have to, watches cheesy figure skating movies with me, and doesn’t get mad at me when I accidentally shave a bald spot on his head while cutting his hair.  This list can go on and on.  I love you, hon!

3.) My little boy, Joshua Lee

• My little boy that loves to spend time with me and looks forward to going on our donut date later this week.
• My little boy who is growing in His knowledge of the Lord.
• My little boy who loves his little brother so.  He helps Caleb lift heavy things.  He helps Caleb get unstuck from cramped spaces.  He tickles and tackles Caleb, sending Caleb into serious giggle fits.  He has compassion on his little brother when Caleb is hurt or sad.
• My little boy who has a tender heart.  Though he never got to meet Uncle Lee, he cries about his death.  He asks if people he holds dear loves Jesus; if they don’t, he immediately prays that they would.
• My little boy who never complains about being sick, going to the grocery store or having his normal routine interrupted.  Ben has apparently set a great example for him.
• My little boy who astonishes us with his intelligence.  Yesterday, he plopped down on our couch and started reading PARAGRAPHS out loud to his Daddy.  What???  Where did that come from???

4.) My littlest, Caleb Benjamin

• My littlest that still likes to be a snugglebug, even at 15 months old.
• My littlest who looks so much like me it boggles even my own dad.
• My littlest who loves toys that start with the letter “B”…balls, balloons, bears, books.
• My littlest who likes to hear words.  He points his little finger at everything and grunts, his way of asking us to name what he’s pointing.  One day out of nowhere, he will probably start talking in full sentences and I will probably poop my pants when he does.
• My littlest who loves his big brother, following JL all over the house (sometimes to JL’s dismay) and imitates what he does.
• My littlest who loves to throw food all over our floor.  Feeding him is a disaster, which is a complete paradox to how his big brother was at his age.

4.) My family

• My Daddy…who is slow to speak because he is wise and measures his words carefully.  He has loved this daughter well and I know it is because he realizes how much he is loved by God.
• My Mommy…who continues to serve God, her husband and kids, even though God has brought many trials into their life.  She will still maintain that her joy is in the Lord.
• My sister, Jambutt…who is my favorite person to laugh with, who understands my fear of dots, who adores my kids and wants to hear about every single detail of their lives, and who is generous in blessing others.
• My brother, Jonathan…whom I have watched grow up into a young man.  It is a highlight of my year whenever I get to see him.  It means that many more chances to love on him well!

5.) My church family at TCC

• My family away from family.
• My family whom I seriously live life with.  You guys help me fight against sin, encourage me with the Word and continually love me despite my sins.
• My family who has embraced my kids and loved on them.
• My family whom I have learned so much from…about what it looks like to love Jesus, what it means to live in community, what it means to treasure the Word and how I can better care for my husband and kids with joy.
• My family, given to us by the Lord God Almighty.  We are united by the blood of Christ and I look forward to spending eternity with each and every one of you!

I love my husband for many reasons.  He cares for me so well, even when his days are crazy busy.  I don’t deserve him in the least bit.  One of the top reasons I love him so much is because he cares for my spiritual well-being.  He is passionate to see me run hard after Jesus and be close to Him.

This Christmas, one of his gifts to me was the book “Feminine Appeal” by Carolyn Mahaney.  It is simply AWESOME.  My intention is to discuss each chapter on this blog about once a week.  So, get ready…because you women out there will thoroughly enjoy what this wise, godly woman has to say.

1.) I am thankful that my sin is so clearly ever before me because that means the Holy Spirit is active in my life.  It also helps me look to the power and the hope that is in the Cross upon which my Savior died.

2.) I am thankful that my house is in a constant disarray because it means I am not alone, but I have a family to take care of.

3.) I am thankful for all the small cars underfoot and the drawings on my walls because it means that my boys are having fun playing together.

4.) I am thankful for the never-ending stream of dishes in my sink and in my dishrack because it means that we have food to eat and I have mouths to feed.

5.) I am thankful for sometimes-inconvenient and exhausting runs to the grocery store with my boys because it means that we have money to buy food.

6.) I am thankful for a husband who comes home grumpy from work because it means that he is employed.

7.) I am thankful for the financial hardships we’ve had this year because it has taught me to…sew, bake all of our bread and to coupon like a crazy woman.

8.) I am thankful for conflict in our marriage because it means that reconciliation made possible only through Christ follows closely behind.

9.) I am thankful for nights where I get little to no sleep because of a sick baby because it means that I have a baby who depends on me for care.

10.) I am thankful for days where I end up in tears because it means that I can’t do it on my own, but Christ is the one who strengthens me.  He is All-Sufficient.  I am not.

11.)  I am thankful for the times where I have to train and discipline my son because it means that God has entrusted to us a great responsiblity…to show JL who God is.  God is a God who hates sin, but loves the sinner.  He is just and forgiving and steadfast in His love toward us.

12.) I am thankful for my gray hairs because it means that I have lived 27 years of life…27 years in which God has sustained my each breath even when He did not have to.

13.)  I am thankful that we are far away from family in MN (even though it is super hard) because now we see that we also have family at our church, Treasuring Christ Church.

14.) I am thankful for life’s trials because it is in the darkest times when I learn the most about my God.

15.) I am thankful that we never have any extra money in our budget because it has taught me that THINGS do not bring about happiness or joy.  Only Jesus does that.

16.)  I am thankful that though I am the foremost of sinners, God saved me from His wrath out of His great mercy.

I’m sure I could continue this list for a long time, but my to-do list beckons me.  My soul sings with praise to the Almighty King now…funny how uttering thanks to Him can change a person’s perspective.

1)  Friends who sharpen.
These are friends who "stir us up…to love and good works" (Hebrews 10:24).  They are people who spur us on to love Jesus more and who point out sin in our lives.  I am thankful that I have such people in my life already.

2)  Friends who mentor.
These friends should be older women who are training us younger women to love our families well, to be good workers in the home, and to be submissive to our dear husbands (Titus 2:3-5).  I have found that these are hard to come by, but the book really encourages intentionality in pursuing a relationship like this in the local church.

3)  Friends who need salvation.
Obviously, these are people who don’t know Jesus.  We, as women, should be striving to speak gracious, Gospel-filled words to those around us who don’t love Jesus.  This takes time and effort, but we must not forget and neglect these relationships.

This is a short summary of her chapter on prioritizing relationships.  I have not done it justice, so please read the book!  It is filled with so much wisdom that comes straight from the Word. 

Many months have gone by, which means our family has seen many milestones.  I will start with Ben and I first:

Milestone 1 (June):  Ben becomes an employee with a SALARY at Kenosis.  This is a first for our family and we are so thankful for God’s faithful financial provision for us.
Milestone 2 (June):  We find out that there is a huge opportunity to possibly owning our first home and we run with it (and are still in the midst of this process, I should add).
Milestone 3 (June):  We return to Minnesota for the 1st time since moving here for an extended vacation with friends and family.  This was a big deal for us.  We saved up for a very long time and it was definitely worth every, single penny!
Milestone 4 (July):  We celebrate our FIVE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY!  We thank the Lord He’s given us this much time together and hope for many more.

Now onto Joshua Lee (3 1/2 years old)…

Milestone 1:  JL begins to read words and short sentences.  Just a few days ago, he spelled his first word.  It was "MOM."  Awww.
Milestone 2:  JL experiences genuine sadness when leaving MN at the end of our vacation.  He bawls his little head off in the security line and the airport.
Milestone 3:  JL delves into his "big brother" role.  He makes sure that Caleb doesn’t eat Old Cheerios and other nasties off the floor.  He helps to entertain Caleb by bringing him different toys when he starts to fuss while I’m making lunch or dinner for them.  And, he just LOVES Caleb, giving him hugs and kisses before every naptime and bedtime.

And, then there’s Caleb (8 1/2 months old)…

Milestone 1:  At 5 months, he FINALLY starts sleeping through the night.  For us, this means that he no longer wakes up every 1.5 hours all night long to nurse.  Whew, that was rough!
Milestone 2:  At 6 1/2 months, Caleb decides that rice cereal is actually not fish food.  He agrees to eat it when fed to him.  Oh, and we started him on cloth diapers, too.
Milestone 3:  At 7 months, Caleb sits on his own, starts to army crawl and cuts his first tooth.
Milestone 4:  At 7 1/2 months, Caleb starts to feed himself Cheerios.  He also initiates playing peek-a-boo and loves standing with assistance.
Milestone 5:  At 8 months, Caleb starts to crawl.  He clearly understands the word "no" now and mostly obeys when we have to utilize it.
Milestone 6:  Most recently, Caleb has learned to pull himself up to standing.  He also cut his 2nd tooth.

That’s a good enough summary for now.