THE PETERSENS

Over the course of our marriage, we have had to work on implementing date nights into our weekly schedules.  It has not been easy for a number of reasons…

1.) When we first got married, we just didn’t communicate very well.  I had expectations, Ben had expectations, we would both get discouraged and we would avoid dates altogether.

2.) Eight months into marriage, we found out we were expecting our first child.  I battled some nausea and a lot of fatigue, so date nights were just not on the forefront of our minds.

3.) Then we had Joshua Lee and when you have kids, it means that they either come with you on your date (which means you’re not REALLY on a date) or  you have to hunt down a babysitter AND be willing to trust your child in another person’s hands.  Needless to say, we had a few dates, but not a lot.

4.) Then we moved to North Carolina, where we essentially had to start our lives over.  New church, new friends, new restaurants, etc.  Once we made some friends, we went on a few more dates, but they were still few and far between.

SO, WHAT HAVE I LEARNED?  Date nights are a luxury.  Don’t take them for granted, but ALSO…aim to have them often.  Ideally once a week, but we shoot for twice a month.  Whenever we come home from a date, Ben and I are rejuvenated in our love for one another.  It is so, so good to have several hours to talk about what God is doing in our hearts and lives without any distractions.  It is FUN to laugh and flirt with each other and hold hands like in our early dating days.  It is wonderful to be reminded of the reasons why I married Ben in the first place.  What are you waiting for, you married folks?  Go on a date!  Make time for it…it’s worthwhile for your marriage.

Let me tell you about our most recent date.  Thanks to our sweet and generous friend, Kristin, we were able to check out a snazzy restaurant called Thaiphoon Bistro a couple weeks ago.

Wow, was the food amazing (and spicy)!  Not only that, but the ambience and the decor of the place was right up our alley.  We were truly spoiled that night.  Afterward, we swung by Cold Stone and shared a small ice cream.  It was absolutely wonderful!  What a blessing it was to spend one-on-one time with my dear husband.  My encouragement to you married couples out there…the dating doesn’t stop with marriage!

1.) Jesus

• The One who loves me steadfastly.
• The One who died on the cross to save me from my ugly sin.
• The One who has redeemed me and made me one of His very own.
• The One who is faithful toward His children, even when they are faithless.
• The One who gives eternal life.
• The One who saved me from God’s wrath and showered me with His mercy by the shedding of His blood on the cross.

2.) Ben

• My dear husband who, with God’s help, has led us through thick and thin.  He has seen me on my worst days and yet chooses to stay married to me!
• My dear husband who shares my first love, Jesus.  Ben loves our Savior more than life itself.  He even loves Him more than me and the boys…that is totally fine with me.
• My dear husband who tirelessly works hard to provide for our family’s needs.  He has a full plate of responsiblities, but even on the most stressful and discouraging work days, he is not prone to grumble.  I could stand to learn a lot from him.
• My dear husband who loves our boys so much.  Some of his favorite things to do with them lately is to tackle and tickle them until they can barely breathe.  Reading the Chronicles of Narnia and the Bible with them are also a high point of his day.
• My dear husband who seeks to serve others.  I often find him joyfully attacking the pile of dishes in the sink after dinner, taking out our stinky trash, washing out poopy cloth diapers or cleaning up the Leggett home after community group.
• My dear husband who always lets me have the last French fry, brings a glass of water to put on my nightstand at bedtime, warms up the cold sheets for me, puts gas in my car so I don’t have to, watches cheesy figure skating movies with me, and doesn’t get mad at me when I accidentally shave a bald spot on his head while cutting his hair.  This list can go on and on.  I love you, hon!

3.) My little boy, Joshua Lee

• My little boy that loves to spend time with me and looks forward to going on our donut date later this week.
• My little boy who is growing in His knowledge of the Lord.
• My little boy who loves his little brother so.  He helps Caleb lift heavy things.  He helps Caleb get unstuck from cramped spaces.  He tickles and tackles Caleb, sending Caleb into serious giggle fits.  He has compassion on his little brother when Caleb is hurt or sad.
• My little boy who has a tender heart.  Though he never got to meet Uncle Lee, he cries about his death.  He asks if people he holds dear loves Jesus; if they don’t, he immediately prays that they would.
• My little boy who never complains about being sick, going to the grocery store or having his normal routine interrupted.  Ben has apparently set a great example for him.
• My little boy who astonishes us with his intelligence.  Yesterday, he plopped down on our couch and started reading PARAGRAPHS out loud to his Daddy.  What???  Where did that come from???

4.) My littlest, Caleb Benjamin

• My littlest that still likes to be a snugglebug, even at 15 months old.
• My littlest who looks so much like me it boggles even my own dad.
• My littlest who loves toys that start with the letter “B”…balls, balloons, bears, books.
• My littlest who likes to hear words.  He points his little finger at everything and grunts, his way of asking us to name what he’s pointing.  One day out of nowhere, he will probably start talking in full sentences and I will probably poop my pants when he does.
• My littlest who loves his big brother, following JL all over the house (sometimes to JL’s dismay) and imitates what he does.
• My littlest who loves to throw food all over our floor.  Feeding him is a disaster, which is a complete paradox to how his big brother was at his age.

4.) My family

• My Daddy…who is slow to speak because he is wise and measures his words carefully.  He has loved this daughter well and I know it is because he realizes how much he is loved by God.
• My Mommy…who continues to serve God, her husband and kids, even though God has brought many trials into their life.  She will still maintain that her joy is in the Lord.
• My sister, Jambutt…who is my favorite person to laugh with, who understands my fear of dots, who adores my kids and wants to hear about every single detail of their lives, and who is generous in blessing others.
• My brother, Jonathan…whom I have watched grow up into a young man.  It is a highlight of my year whenever I get to see him.  It means that many more chances to love on him well!

5.) My church family at TCC

• My family away from family.
• My family whom I seriously live life with.  You guys help me fight against sin, encourage me with the Word and continually love me despite my sins.
• My family who has embraced my kids and loved on them.
• My family whom I have learned so much from…about what it looks like to love Jesus, what it means to live in community, what it means to treasure the Word and how I can better care for my husband and kids with joy.
• My family, given to us by the Lord God Almighty.  We are united by the blood of Christ and I look forward to spending eternity with each and every one of you!

I love my husband for many reasons.  He cares for me so well, even when his days are crazy busy.  I don’t deserve him in the least bit.  One of the top reasons I love him so much is because he cares for my spiritual well-being.  He is passionate to see me run hard after Jesus and be close to Him.

This Christmas, one of his gifts to me was the book “Feminine Appeal” by Carolyn Mahaney.  It is simply AWESOME.  My intention is to discuss each chapter on this blog about once a week.  So, get ready…because you women out there will thoroughly enjoy what this wise, godly woman has to say.