Seven Habits of the Highly Effective Women

The Parenting Years I: Ages Infant to 5

They are extremely practical and really pertain to where I’m at right now in life.  If you ever get the chance, take some time to listen to these series.  And, if you have any recommendations for me, please post a link in a comment for me!

Caleb will be 18 months old tomorrow.  I feel like I just birthed him yesterday!

12:08 PM

BEFORE:

AFTER:

We gave JL his first buzz cut.  He had SO MUCH HAIR!  Not anymore though…
BEFORE:
AFTER:

How blessed I am to be “Mommy” to my two sweet and funny boys!  Mother’s Day is always a good opportunity to sit down and think about all the ways in which being a mother brings me so much joy…

• God gave me my two boys with their specific personalities.  I think it is SO CRAZY how different my two boys are, but yet I can love them both.  JL with his tender heart and his love for reading and Caleb with his comical spirit and his love for all things round.  JL loves to sleep and eat, but Caleb struggles with both of those areas (which means more gray hairs and fine wrinkles around my eyes for me).  JL with his fair, white skin and hazel eyes…Caleb with his darker, olive-colored skin and eyes blacker than my own.  It takes a little while to draw JL out of his shell and get him to open up, but anyone can read Caleb because he pretty much wears his emotions on his sleeve.  They are unique…the way God made them to be.  How fun it is to see their little personalities unravel over time!
• Being a mom serves to sanctify me.  The Lord has used motherhood to reveal to me sins in my heart…anger, discontentment, selfishness, impatience, and self-centeredness are only a few of them.  I am thankful for sleepless nights, waves of constant disciplining, tight budgets, constant clutter and endless piles of laundry.  For one, they PROVE that I a mother of two kids, but secondly, I have LEARNED that through these hard things, God is teaching me what it means to put others before myself.  Sometimes I can do it with a joyful heart and sometimes I can’t, but we’re all a work in process, right?
• I love being a mom with Ben by my side as the leader of our home.  He works HARD to do well at all things handed to him and parenting is one area in which he certainly excels.  I enjoy watching him patiently train JL to be a man of self-control, courage, servant-heartedness and bravery.  I love watching him do the icky things like cleaning out poopy cloth diapers, but still with a smile on his face.  The giggles he can solicit from the boys by tackling, tickling and wrestling with them are absolutely priceless.  Ben has had such a huge hand in forming what our family looks like and I am so thankful!
• I have learned that people are more important than things, which has brought me much joy.  Being at home with the boys means that we have less money to go all around, but IT IS WORTH IT!  Stylish clothing, trendy furniture, regularly eating out are itty, bitty luxuries compared to the value I have found in being at home with the kids.
• I love that my boys are my constant companions (for now…until they are embarassed to be seen hanging out with me).  We do Harris Teeter Triples together, we cruise around Target and look at shoes, we check out books at the library, we go to the park, we do chores around the house, we sing songs and giggle together…and the list keeps going.
• They teach me about Jesus, day in and day out.  How much I need Jesus, how much they need Jesus and how much the Gospel can enrich our lives and our relationships.  JL always thanks God in his prayers how He will never leave us or forsake us…so true!

I am so grateful that God has given me two great little boys to train up in the righteousness of the Lord and that He equips me to carry out such a daunting task.  Praise be to God, the Giver of Life!

Thank you, Dana, for these pictures taken at church!  I will end on this note…here’s a picture of an artistic masterpiece by my husband and boys!

Did you see JL’s coloring job?  I like how he colored in his own eyeballs.  Kinda demonic-looking, huh?  Ben suggested he NOT color in anyone else’s eyeballs.  JL happily agreed.

Caleb pointing at the skeletal remains of a whale hanging from the ceiling.

Toady-toad.

There were a gazillion snakes at this exhibit.  Personally, I found it terrifying.

First off, I have to say that I am in no way pushing homeschooling on anyone.  I don’t think homeschooling IS for every parent and child.  This totally depends on your current life situation, your personality as a parent, your child’s personality and his/her specific needs, what kind of support system you have, etc.  Some families have parents where both have to work…this is the economy we live in.  Some families have children with special needs which may be better addressed in a different setting.  As for us, we like the premise of homeschooling and how it gives us the opportunity to teach our children through a Biblical worldview.  This is great!  However, we have also decided that we can only make choices for our children’s schooling ONE YEAR AT A TIME.  I don’t know if I explained that well at all, but if you have any other questions, please e-mail me.

Now onto the nitty-gritty.  After much research and discussion with other mothers, we have decided to go with the classical model of homeschooling.  For more information on this, you can Google it and a lot of information can be found about it. We are currently using The Ordinary Parent’s Guide to Teaching Reading by Jessie Wise and Sarah Buffington.  JL has really, really enjoyed it.  It doesn’t come with activities or stickers or any other bells and whistles; it is a simple book on teaching your child to read.  JL has run with it…he is reading books to his little brother now.

The book that has helped me teach JL how to read.

JL just turned 4, so our homeschooling is really not that intense yet.  Our desire for him right now is that he would LOVE learning.  We want him to be a life-long learner.  Here is what our day typically looks like with homeschooling incorporated into it.

7:30-8:00-Kids wake up and they have quiet play time in their room together, so I have a little extra time to get dressed and ready.

8:00-8:30-Breakfast

8:30-9:00-Chores for me and JL (washing/drying/folding laundry, prepping for lunch and dinner, washing dishes, etc.)

9:00-9:30-Reading with JL and Caleb (the Bible and other books/audio book)

9:30-10:00-Free play for JL while I catch up on e-mail, pay bills and the like; Caleb naps until

11:30 10:00-11:00-Homeschooling with JL (consists of the reading curriculum mentioned above and a hands-on craft)

11:00-11:30-I prep for lunch while JL independently does an activity.

11:30-12:15-Getting Caleb up and changed and eating lunch together

12:15-12:30-Clean-up after lunch

12:30-1:00-Free play for JL and Caleb

1:00-2:30-Errand-running with the kiddos or taking them to the park or library

2:30-4:30-Caleb has his afternoon nap and JL has a quiet time for some of that time.  I use this time to organize something, sew/make a gift, catch up on e-mails again, read, take a small nap, return phone calls, pay more bills, prep dinner, put away laundry.  There is always SOMEthing to do.

4:30-5:00-Kids have a little more free play and we set the table and finish up dinner prep.

Ben usually gets home between 5:15 and 5:30 and we eat. That’s what our basic day looks like, though we are extremely flexible.  There are some days where Caleb naps awful…I get less done around the house.  There are some days where we have people over for lunch and we go visit someone in the morning who could use some company/encouragement.  Sometimes we have playdates with other moms and their kids.  Sometimes life just gets REALLY crazy and the schedule goes completely out of the window.  That’s not ideal, but we manage just fine.

What I consider part of homeschooling is teaching my children about loving and serving others.  It is a time in which I can teach them how to be boys of godly character, how to love truth and hate lies, how to put others before themselves.  Every moment I have with them is a time of intentionality where I can be sharing with them the Gospel and show them what it means to follow Jesus and love Him.  And, maybe I’m just doing it all wrong, but each day is a new day… I’m learning, too!

So, homeschooling or non-homeschooling moms, what things do you do with your children each day that encourages them to love learning?  How do you point them to the Gospel amidst life’s daily happenings?

JL and a snowman he made out of some modeling clay one day.  This boy loves to create and imagine, much like his own Daddy.

• The One who loves me steadfastly.
• The One who died on the cross to save me from my ugly sin.
• The One who has redeemed me and made me one of His very own.
• The One who is faithful toward His children, even when they are faithless.
• The One who gives eternal life.
• The One who saved me from God’s wrath and showered me with His mercy by the shedding of His blood on the cross.

2.) Ben

• My dear husband who, with God’s help, has led us through thick and thin.  He has seen me on my worst days and yet chooses to stay married to me!
• My dear husband who shares my first love, Jesus.  Ben loves our Savior more than life itself.  He even loves Him more than me and the boys…that is totally fine with me.
• My dear husband who tirelessly works hard to provide for our family’s needs.  He has a full plate of responsiblities, but even on the most stressful and discouraging work days, he is not prone to grumble.  I could stand to learn a lot from him.
• My dear husband who loves our boys so much.  Some of his favorite things to do with them lately is to tackle and tickle them until they can barely breathe.  Reading the Chronicles of Narnia and the Bible with them are also a high point of his day.
• My dear husband who seeks to serve others.  I often find him joyfully attacking the pile of dishes in the sink after dinner, taking out our stinky trash, washing out poopy cloth diapers or cleaning up the Leggett home after community group.
• My dear husband who always lets me have the last French fry, brings a glass of water to put on my nightstand at bedtime, warms up the cold sheets for me, puts gas in my car so I don’t have to, watches cheesy figure skating movies with me, and doesn’t get mad at me when I accidentally shave a bald spot on his head while cutting his hair.  This list can go on and on.  I love you, hon!

3.) My little boy, Joshua Lee

• My little boy that loves to spend time with me and looks forward to going on our donut date later this week.
• My little boy who is growing in His knowledge of the Lord.
• My little boy who loves his little brother so.  He helps Caleb lift heavy things.  He helps Caleb get unstuck from cramped spaces.  He tickles and tackles Caleb, sending Caleb into serious giggle fits.  He has compassion on his little brother when Caleb is hurt or sad.
• My little boy who has a tender heart.  Though he never got to meet Uncle Lee, he cries about his death.  He asks if people he holds dear loves Jesus; if they don’t, he immediately prays that they would.
• My little boy who never complains about being sick, going to the grocery store or having his normal routine interrupted.  Ben has apparently set a great example for him.
• My little boy who astonishes us with his intelligence.  Yesterday, he plopped down on our couch and started reading PARAGRAPHS out loud to his Daddy.  What???  Where did that come from???

4.) My littlest, Caleb Benjamin

• My littlest that still likes to be a snugglebug, even at 15 months old.
• My littlest who looks so much like me it boggles even my own dad.
• My littlest who loves toys that start with the letter “B”…balls, balloons, bears, books.
• My littlest who likes to hear words.  He points his little finger at everything and grunts, his way of asking us to name what he’s pointing.  One day out of nowhere, he will probably start talking in full sentences and I will probably poop my pants when he does.
• My littlest who loves his big brother, following JL all over the house (sometimes to JL’s dismay) and imitates what he does.
• My littlest who loves to throw food all over our floor.  Feeding him is a disaster, which is a complete paradox to how his big brother was at his age.

4.) My family

• My Daddy…who is slow to speak because he is wise and measures his words carefully.  He has loved this daughter well and I know it is because he realizes how much he is loved by God.
• My Mommy…who continues to serve God, her husband and kids, even though God has brought many trials into their life.  She will still maintain that her joy is in the Lord.
• My sister, Jambutt…who is my favorite person to laugh with, who understands my fear of dots, who adores my kids and wants to hear about every single detail of their lives, and who is generous in blessing others.
• My brother, Jonathan…whom I have watched grow up into a young man.  It is a highlight of my year whenever I get to see him.  It means that many more chances to love on him well!

5.) My church family at TCC

• My family away from family.
• My family whom I seriously live life with.  You guys help me fight against sin, encourage me with the Word and continually love me despite my sins.
• My family who has embraced my kids and loved on them.
• My family whom I have learned so much from…about what it looks like to love Jesus, what it means to live in community, what it means to treasure the Word and how I can better care for my husband and kids with joy.
• My family, given to us by the Lord God Almighty.  We are united by the blood of Christ and I look forward to spending eternity with each and every one of you!

JL: Mommy, can we have a baby sister please?

Me: Hmm…well, you have to pray that God would grow you a baby sister in Mommy’s belly, ok?

JL: Okay, I will pray.

(At dinnertime with Ben home.)

Me: JL, can you tell Daddy what you asked Mommy for today?

JL: Daddy, I would like a baby sister.  I prayed for a baby sister today!

Me: Really?  When did you pray for a baby sister?

JL: I prayed for one when I was cleaning up my toys.

Me: Oh, okay.  What did you say?

JL: I said, “Dear God…can you give me a baby sister please?”

Ben and I just smiled at each other.  No, we’re not expecting.  But, JL has his request in with God and anything is quite possible with Him!

As I was heading out the door, I kissed my Hubs and my 2 boys.  I told JL, “I’m going out on a “date” with Auntie Autumn!”  Reminded him to obey Daddy and love God.  He just smiled and watched me leave.

By the time I came home, both boys were in bed sleeping already.  I asked Ben later if either of the boys had looked for me.  He said that him and JL had this conversation…

JL (while eating dinner): Daddy, where is Mommy?

Ben: She’s out on a date with Auntie Autumn!

(JL sits quietly for a bit, thinking.)

JL: Daddy, I want to go out on a date with Mommy, too!

Ben: Yes, JL, you and Mommy will have to do that.

Wow, I just about melted when Ben told me this.  Absolute sweetness to my ears.  I guess me and JL will be going out on a date this week sometime!