So, I am thinking that this particular memory goes in that category of “so-extremely-scary-at-the-time-but-so-completely-hilarious-later”.  What do you think, Autumn?  Well, besides a few shed tears and some elevated heart rates this morning, my birthday has been off to a great start so far!  Thank you, dear friend.  I love you!  Can’t wait to continue our tradition of strawberry pickin’ next year…just maybe at different, turkey-free farm.

How blessed I am to be “Mommy” to my two sweet and funny boys!  Mother’s Day is always a good opportunity to sit down and think about all the ways in which being a mother brings me so much joy…

• God gave me my two boys with their specific personalities.  I think it is SO CRAZY how different my two boys are, but yet I can love them both.  JL with his tender heart and his love for reading and Caleb with his comical spirit and his love for all things round.  JL loves to sleep and eat, but Caleb struggles with both of those areas (which means more gray hairs and fine wrinkles around my eyes for me).  JL with his fair, white skin and hazel eyes…Caleb with his darker, olive-colored skin and eyes blacker than my own.  It takes a little while to draw JL out of his shell and get him to open up, but anyone can read Caleb because he pretty much wears his emotions on his sleeve.  They are unique…the way God made them to be.  How fun it is to see their little personalities unravel over time!
• Being a mom serves to sanctify me.  The Lord has used motherhood to reveal to me sins in my heart…anger, discontentment, selfishness, impatience, and self-centeredness are only a few of them.  I am thankful for sleepless nights, waves of constant disciplining, tight budgets, constant clutter and endless piles of laundry.  For one, they PROVE that I a mother of two kids, but secondly, I have LEARNED that through these hard things, God is teaching me what it means to put others before myself.  Sometimes I can do it with a joyful heart and sometimes I can’t, but we’re all a work in process, right?
• I love being a mom with Ben by my side as the leader of our home.  He works HARD to do well at all things handed to him and parenting is one area in which he certainly excels.  I enjoy watching him patiently train JL to be a man of self-control, courage, servant-heartedness and bravery.  I love watching him do the icky things like cleaning out poopy cloth diapers, but still with a smile on his face.  The giggles he can solicit from the boys by tackling, tickling and wrestling with them are absolutely priceless.  Ben has had such a huge hand in forming what our family looks like and I am so thankful!
• I have learned that people are more important than things, which has brought me much joy.  Being at home with the boys means that we have less money to go all around, but IT IS WORTH IT!  Stylish clothing, trendy furniture, regularly eating out are itty, bitty luxuries compared to the value I have found in being at home with the kids.
• I love that my boys are my constant companions (for now…until they are embarassed to be seen hanging out with me).  We do Harris Teeter Triples together, we cruise around Target and look at shoes, we check out books at the library, we go to the park, we do chores around the house, we sing songs and giggle together…and the list keeps going.
• They teach me about Jesus, day in and day out.  How much I need Jesus, how much they need Jesus and how much the Gospel can enrich our lives and our relationships.  JL always thanks God in his prayers how He will never leave us or forsake us…so true!

I am so grateful that God has given me two great little boys to train up in the righteousness of the Lord and that He equips me to carry out such a daunting task.  Praise be to God, the Giver of Life!

Thank you, Dana, for these pictures taken at church!  I will end on this note…here’s a picture of an artistic masterpiece by my husband and boys!

Did you see JL’s coloring job?  I like how he colored in his own eyeballs.  Kinda demonic-looking, huh?  Ben suggested he NOT color in anyone else’s eyeballs.  JL happily agreed.

Caleb pointing at the skeletal remains of a whale hanging from the ceiling.

Toady-toad.

There were a gazillion snakes at this exhibit.  Personally, I found it terrifying.

• The One who loves me steadfastly.
• The One who died on the cross to save me from my ugly sin.
• The One who has redeemed me and made me one of His very own.
• The One who is faithful toward His children, even when they are faithless.
• The One who gives eternal life.
• The One who saved me from God’s wrath and showered me with His mercy by the shedding of His blood on the cross.

2.) Ben

• My dear husband who, with God’s help, has led us through thick and thin.  He has seen me on my worst days and yet chooses to stay married to me!
• My dear husband who shares my first love, Jesus.  Ben loves our Savior more than life itself.  He even loves Him more than me and the boys…that is totally fine with me.
• My dear husband who tirelessly works hard to provide for our family’s needs.  He has a full plate of responsiblities, but even on the most stressful and discouraging work days, he is not prone to grumble.  I could stand to learn a lot from him.
• My dear husband who loves our boys so much.  Some of his favorite things to do with them lately is to tackle and tickle them until they can barely breathe.  Reading the Chronicles of Narnia and the Bible with them are also a high point of his day.
• My dear husband who seeks to serve others.  I often find him joyfully attacking the pile of dishes in the sink after dinner, taking out our stinky trash, washing out poopy cloth diapers or cleaning up the Leggett home after community group.
• My dear husband who always lets me have the last French fry, brings a glass of water to put on my nightstand at bedtime, warms up the cold sheets for me, puts gas in my car so I don’t have to, watches cheesy figure skating movies with me, and doesn’t get mad at me when I accidentally shave a bald spot on his head while cutting his hair.  This list can go on and on.  I love you, hon!

3.) My little boy, Joshua Lee

• My little boy that loves to spend time with me and looks forward to going on our donut date later this week.
• My little boy who is growing in His knowledge of the Lord.
• My little boy who loves his little brother so.  He helps Caleb lift heavy things.  He helps Caleb get unstuck from cramped spaces.  He tickles and tackles Caleb, sending Caleb into serious giggle fits.  He has compassion on his little brother when Caleb is hurt or sad.
• My little boy who has a tender heart.  Though he never got to meet Uncle Lee, he cries about his death.  He asks if people he holds dear loves Jesus; if they don’t, he immediately prays that they would.
• My little boy who never complains about being sick, going to the grocery store or having his normal routine interrupted.  Ben has apparently set a great example for him.
• My little boy who astonishes us with his intelligence.  Yesterday, he plopped down on our couch and started reading PARAGRAPHS out loud to his Daddy.  What???  Where did that come from???

4.) My littlest, Caleb Benjamin

• My littlest that still likes to be a snugglebug, even at 15 months old.
• My littlest who looks so much like me it boggles even my own dad.
• My littlest who loves toys that start with the letter “B”…balls, balloons, bears, books.
• My littlest who likes to hear words.  He points his little finger at everything and grunts, his way of asking us to name what he’s pointing.  One day out of nowhere, he will probably start talking in full sentences and I will probably poop my pants when he does.
• My littlest who loves his big brother, following JL all over the house (sometimes to JL’s dismay) and imitates what he does.
• My littlest who loves to throw food all over our floor.  Feeding him is a disaster, which is a complete paradox to how his big brother was at his age.

4.) My family

• My Daddy…who is slow to speak because he is wise and measures his words carefully.  He has loved this daughter well and I know it is because he realizes how much he is loved by God.
• My Mommy…who continues to serve God, her husband and kids, even though God has brought many trials into their life.  She will still maintain that her joy is in the Lord.
• My sister, Jambutt…who is my favorite person to laugh with, who understands my fear of dots, who adores my kids and wants to hear about every single detail of their lives, and who is generous in blessing others.
• My brother, Jonathan…whom I have watched grow up into a young man.  It is a highlight of my year whenever I get to see him.  It means that many more chances to love on him well!

5.) My church family at TCC

• My family away from family.
• My family whom I seriously live life with.  You guys help me fight against sin, encourage me with the Word and continually love me despite my sins.
• My family who has embraced my kids and loved on them.
• My family whom I have learned so much from…about what it looks like to love Jesus, what it means to live in community, what it means to treasure the Word and how I can better care for my husband and kids with joy.
• My family, given to us by the Lord God Almighty.  We are united by the blood of Christ and I look forward to spending eternity with each and every one of you!

Joshua Lee asked Ben to write his name on his hand.

The back of the house.

Adding lots of snow…for a Minnesota feel, doncha know.

The front of the house.

Sooooo candy happy.

And, TA-DA…the final result!

Ben prepared a devotional for each day which served to point us to Christ and His birth, as well as to anticipate His Second Coming.  He really did an excellent job and I am so thankful for the passion God has given Him to disciple me and his boys.  Joshua Lee enjoyed seeing each new and different ornament and now that he is older, he is picking up more and more of what we teach him from the Bible.  God is working in his life and for this we are thankful.

We put up just a few Christmas decorations.  Space and finances didn’t allow us to purchase a Christmas tree this year, but we still managed to make our home feel “Christmas-y.”

JL and I made several crafts to go along with the holiday and he loved that.  We baked and decorated cookies with Kimberly and her girls one morning and did the same with some friends downtown.  Even without family in town, we managed to keep pretty busy.

My sister and her boyfriend were the only ones who were able to fly out and see us this year.

It was the first time meeting her boyfriend, but things went great.  We had so much fun with them and we laughed more than we can ever remember.  We played Nertz, Puerto Rico and DDR, went to Chuck E Cheese’s and Red Robin with the kiddos and stayed up until the wee hours of the morning every single day they were here.

Jonathan even gave JL a mohawk one day.

It went by way too fast.  On their last full day here, we had a big Christmas dinner.

Jonathan made the turkey and the rest of us made all kinds of sides.  We ate and ate.  They flew out Christmas morning and it was awfully sad to see them go.  Many tears were shed, especially from Jennifer and JL.  JL is so fond of his Mak Ming Jen!  We were so thankful to have even a little family around this year.  Though I know that Christmas is about Jesus Christ and His birth, it’s so heartwarming to celebrate that fact with family.

On Christmas Day evening, we hung out with the Jacksons from our church family…

…and Ravi from NCState.

We had turkey again and just fellowshipped.  It was wonderful and refreshing.  So, that was our Christmas!  My hope and prayer is that your Christmas was filled with the peace and joy that comes only from Jesus, the Savior of the world.

I will forever be behind in blogging.  I wanted to share everyone the nifty Thanksgiving tree we made this year.  It was fun to sit down with JL everyday and think up of things we are thankful for.  God has blessed us abundantly.  Thanks be to Him who loves us even when we are most deserving of His wrath.  Here are a few pictures of our tree…

This past Saturday we celebrated Joshua Lee’s and Caleb’s birthday with some close friends from our church, Treasuring Christ.

Caleb turned 1 on November 14th and JL will be 4 on Christmas Eve.  I cannot believe that I am a mother to such two wonderful, little boys.  I have been especially thankful for them lately, especially with the Thanksgiving holiday and all the funny things they’ve been doing together lately.  Ben verbalized my sentiments exactly when he read blessings that he wrote for the boys this year at the party.  They drove me to tears and I am so thankful that I have a husband who is so deep and intentional.  I am truly grateful for him.  Anyway, here are the blessings…we love you, Joshua Lee and Caleb Benjamin!  Oh, and photos will be posted soon.

Veronique,
As I began to write about this year with our little boys, I could only get one sentence out before I felt compelled to write to you first.  Thank you for our family.  As I sit in the coffee shop adoring photos from our shoot with Kristin… admiring at our beautiful family leisurely laying in the grassy field together, smiling and enjoying balloons, my eyes inevitably go from our little boys to you.  I always feared that having a family might not be a joy.  I remember seeing many examples of dysfunctional and loveless families, wondering it if was possible to have something more… something special.  God’s grace in you has made this happen for us.  You have been the backbone of this family.  You have been the one patiently enduring each day, investing hours and hours into carrying out my fragile visions…  and constantly investing vision of your own into our daily lives.  You have enriched our family life beyond what I could have imagined.  I am so overwhelmingly thankful for your encouragement to push forward, to make times and seasons special, to make our daily and weekly routines more than just mundane.  In all this, you have been for me a gift of God, a perfect complement and encouragement.  More than I could possibly deserve.  Thank you.

Boys,
Little boys… As I sit here in the coffee shop flipping through photos from this past year, I am caused to smile again and again as I behold our little family.  I was immediately drawn to write to your mommy first, because she has been such a beautiful mommy to you.  Never forget what a blessing of God she is to you.   Yet I also want you both to know what a blessing of God you have been to me.

Joshua Lee,
Joshua Lee, you have been my son for four years now.  This last year has been filled with many changes.  You grew from a toddler to a little boy.  We have gone from talking about the color of grass and monkeys to discussing why God created the world!  You have become a little artist (though we occasionally have to remind you to keep your work on paper), and a fantastic reader.  I think I love story-time almost as much as you.  You are an observant servant, a quality I rarely exhibit (so strange and humbling to see things you can learn from your almost-4-year-old). And you have such a soft and gentle spirit.  Yet I know you are ready and willing to grow up and be a man!  Joshua, I know that I am years behind in the maturity I should have to raise you right and give you what you need in a daddy and father figure.  Yet I am trusting that God will continue to provide what I am lacking.  I hope and pray that God will give me a new measure of grace each year of your life, that I may be able to show you a general mold for what it is to be a man of God.  And may a vision of God in his son Jesus Christ provide for you the rest that is lacking.  Very humbly I say happy 4th birthday little boy!

Caleb,
One year old but you are still our little bear.  You also have changed, yet not yet so dramatically.  A sweet blessing of comic relief and an example of God’s undeserved goodness.  I am constantly delighted by your funny face and your silly mannerisms.  Yet you also are an imitator, and a second reason for me to pray for grace!  As with your big brother, I can only hope that in what God provides me for Joshua will perhaps be a bit more refined for you. I pray constantly that God will soften your heart to delight in him, that you will fulfill your purpose in existence by loving God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.  Happy 1st birthday Booboo.

Prayer of blessing for this year’s birthdays:
Little boys, may the God of hope be merciful to you.  May he work in you a delight in his son Jesus Christ.  May you understand your purpose in this life is to glorify God, and do so with all your might.  May you grow and be merciful men.  May you love the lost and broken.  May you serve the weak and helpless.  May you be men of justice, yet always understanding the justice that transcends our worldly system, that Christ died for sinners and God in his Good Pleasure may be merciful to anyone He pleases.  May you be strong and courageous.  May you choose each day to serve the Lord.  May you see the gospel as the greatest and only treasure in this world, and may you flee this evil age for the beauty of Christ.  As you grow into men, may those around you see the image of God on you, may they get a glimpse of the wonders of our Saviour by how you live your lives, and may that families you one day have always be thankful to God for the grace he has worked in you.

1)  Friends who sharpen.
These are friends who "stir us up…to love and good works" (Hebrews 10:24).  They are people who spur us on to love Jesus more and who point out sin in our lives.  I am thankful that I have such people in my life already.

2)  Friends who mentor.
These friends should be older women who are training us younger women to love our families well, to be good workers in the home, and to be submissive to our dear husbands (Titus 2:3-5).  I have found that these are hard to come by, but the book really encourages intentionality in pursuing a relationship like this in the local church.

3)  Friends who need salvation.
Obviously, these are people who don’t know Jesus.  We, as women, should be striving to speak gracious, Gospel-filled words to those around us who don’t love Jesus.  This takes time and effort, but we must not forget and neglect these relationships.

This is a short summary of her chapter on prioritizing relationships.  I have not done it justice, so please read the book!  It is filled with so much wisdom that comes straight from the Word. 

We finally got to leave and I learned that we were going to have a themed date night…"Teeny Bopper Date Night."  This entailed Ben taking me to eat drive-in food at Sonic and to the arcade after that.  A few funny things happened…one, our car battery died at Sonic.  Our babysitter’s husband had to come and jump our car.  Two, when we got to the arcade, it was closed due to construction!  So, the night didn’t go as Ben planned, but it did instead give Ben and I an opportunity to talk more.  He really encouraged me that night.  I had been really struggling that week with some sins that God had revealed to me and was just despairing, but Ben pointed me to Christ and His wonderful grace.  He shared some things with me that he had been learning about in the Old Testament, which drove me to be so thankful that God saved a sinner like me.  All this to say that I really love my husband.  He really spoiled me this past weekend and he truly is an evidence of God’s grace in my life.