THE PETERSENS

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve been blogging consistently, but I do have a good reason this time around.  Let me fill you in…

On the evening of March 1st, Ben was told by his boss that the company was being bought and that everyone would be out of jobs by the 12th.  Wow.  When Ben came home and told me this news, so many emotions rushed through my body.  Anger, fear and anxiety were probably the ones to top the list.  Having walked through the trial of unemployment in my own family growing up and walking through it with some close friends of ours recently, I knew that this was NOT something I wanted to go through.  Call me selfish and call me a wimp, but I prefer life to be easy and convenient.  I mean, don’t we all?  However, God knows me better than that and He knows that it is only through trials and hardships when I realize my utter need for Him.  So, as those next long 11 days progressed, I clung to God and His promises.  I made sure to surround myself with the Gospel ALL THE TIME…listening to sermons, listening to worship music, meditating on Scripture, reading my Bible with the kids.  What I have learned from that time is that I need to be doing this EVERY day.  Every day is a battle to believe God’s promises and to trust in His provision.  It’s just easier to ignore it when my husband is actually employed.

So, that first week in March zipped by.  Ben and I didn’t really know what we were going to do.  He had been job hunting for months, but to no avail.  We were under contract to buy a house in downtown Raleigh, but that would fall through as well with no employment.  Come June, we would have nowhere to live.  We really were at a crossroads and extremely discouraged.  But, God surrounded us with wonderful friends at our church who called and e-mailed words of encouragement.  They reminded us of how big our God is and how we had no need to worry.  We had offers from close friends to stay with them in their homes while we figured things out.  The love and support we felt was overwhelming.

Then things began to take a turn without us really knowing it yet.  The company that had bought Ben’s current company just happened to have a position open.  They had actually hired someone that first week in March, but it fell through the 2nd week.  Ben had a chance to interview 4 days before being unemployed and they offered him the position.  People, it’s a position for programming!  My husband is a designer, not a programmer.  But, they wanted him anyway.  His last day at Kenosis was on the 12th and he immediately started work on the 15th at North Star.  We were amazed!  Ben did not go one day unemployed.  The Lord knew our needs and provided.  I’m still in awe over this.

Our God is a PROVIDER.  He gives us what He determines is good for us, whether that is a new job or unemployment.  He is our Good Provider either way.  I have to remember this as I share with you the next part of this story.  Ben’s new job is in Burlington–a 1 hour and 10 minute commute from Wake Forest one way.  Eek!  Ben leaves the house at 6:10 AM and doesn’t get back until 6 PM in the evening.  I know that doesn’t sound terribly awful, but it is quite the transition for our little family.  I am used to having Ben work 5 minutes away!  Also, we are night owls.  We are accustomed to going to bed at midnight, but none of that anymore.  We gotta be in bed by 10 PM now (if not earlier!).  This is a challenge for us.  In addition, Ben and I just don’t have much alone time together.  With our other commitments and the long commute, Ben and I have maybe two nights a week where we can just catch up with one another.  This is when I am tempted to grumble.  I am tempted to grumble like the Israelites did when they were brought out of Egypt.  God delivered them in miraculous and powerful ways from the hands of the Egyptians who were oppressing them, but yet they still found reason to grumble.  I am the same way.  God gave my husband a new job the day after he lost his old job and I complain!  Chief of sinners, that is what I am.

However, a friend of mine e-mailed me yesterday some helpful tips on how to practically deal with this time of transition for our family withOUT grumbling.

1.) Have a heart of thankfulness.  Reflecting on God’s goodness toward me, not just in the provision of a job, but in the fact that He saved me even while I was still a dirty, horrible sinner.

2.) Be realistic in the expectations I set for myself.  With Ben being gone more and not having his help, I cannot resort to doing it all on my own.  I have been making a list of ten things to do with the highest priority ones at the top.  Whatever doesn’t get done rolls over into the next day’s to-do list.  Plus, it’s helpful for me to remember that only God gets His to-do list done.

3.) Take a break.  When I’m exhausted and the kids are fussy and crying at the same time and my house is a disaster, take the time to fall to my knees and plead with God to help me.  Also, taking a small nap in the afternoon with your kids is not a crime.

4.) Realize what I can or cannot do.  I have to say “no” sometimes to social events or even different ministry opportunities, however fun or good they might be.  My job is to take care of my husband, kids and home first.

5.) Rely on others.  Accept help from others when offered.  I tend to thrive on self-sufficiency.  How prideful is that, right?

So, rejoice with us and pray for us.  REJOICE because my husband has a job!  PRAY because it is hard to have him gone 60 hours a week, on top of our other commitments.  My desire is that as a family, we would endure with joy and perseverance so that Christ may be seen as more beautiful to those around us.  Thank you, friends!

Over the course of our marriage, we have had to work on implementing date nights into our weekly schedules.  It has not been easy for a number of reasons…

1.) When we first got married, we just didn’t communicate very well.  I had expectations, Ben had expectations, we would both get discouraged and we would avoid dates altogether.

2.) Eight months into marriage, we found out we were expecting our first child.  I battled some nausea and a lot of fatigue, so date nights were just not on the forefront of our minds.

3.) Then we had Joshua Lee and when you have kids, it means that they either come with you on your date (which means you’re not REALLY on a date) or  you have to hunt down a babysitter AND be willing to trust your child in another person’s hands.  Needless to say, we had a few dates, but not a lot.

4.) Then we moved to North Carolina, where we essentially had to start our lives over.  New church, new friends, new restaurants, etc.  Once we made some friends, we went on a few more dates, but they were still few and far between.

SO, WHAT HAVE I LEARNED?  Date nights are a luxury.  Don’t take them for granted, but ALSO…aim to have them often.  Ideally once a week, but we shoot for twice a month.  Whenever we come home from a date, Ben and I are rejuvenated in our love for one another.  It is so, so good to have several hours to talk about what God is doing in our hearts and lives without any distractions.  It is FUN to laugh and flirt with each other and hold hands like in our early dating days.  It is wonderful to be reminded of the reasons why I married Ben in the first place.  What are you waiting for, you married folks?  Go on a date!  Make time for it…it’s worthwhile for your marriage.

Let me tell you about our most recent date.  Thanks to our sweet and generous friend, Kristin, we were able to check out a snazzy restaurant called Thaiphoon Bistro a couple weeks ago.

Wow, was the food amazing (and spicy)!  Not only that, but the ambience and the decor of the place was right up our alley.  We were truly spoiled that night.  Afterward, we swung by Cold Stone and shared a small ice cream.  It was absolutely wonderful!  What a blessing it was to spend one-on-one time with my dear husband.  My encouragement to you married couples out there…the dating doesn’t stop with marriage!

I am happy to say that our household is finally recovering from all the sickness we have been enduring for the past few weeks.  It has been hard, but the Lord has sustained us.

You will be hearing more from us now.  The absence of blog posts was due to my own coming down with the flu.  When I wasn’t resting or sleeping, I was still trying to keep up with taking care of my husband and kids and accomplishing a minimal amount of housework.  Hopefully you will be hearing more from me, but maybe not as much since I am trying to get caught up on everything else that fell by the wayside.

Thank you to those who were praying for us and loving on us by bringing us meals and just calling.  We are so blessed to be surrounded by people from our church who are so quick to serve.

Anyway, a few updates…

• February was a short month, so we were able to come in under our $175/month food budget.  I am hoping that this will the be first of many months we can do this!
• One of our new financial goals for this year was to aggressively pay off my student loans totaling $10,000.  We have been able to cut that in half!  Praise be to God who has blessed us with a hefty tax return and side-job opportunities for my hubby.  We’ve been able to throw that extra income toward our school debt.
• Our house is actually FOR REAL being built now, so we are looking to move into our first home in about 90 days.
• Ben has been juggling his many responsibilities well and even managed to get Google Analytics-certified amidst his crazy schedule.  Yay, husband!
• Homeschooling has been going well for Joshua Lee and I.  He is now able to read most of his board books out loud and is eager to tackle hard words like “extinguisher” and “xylophone.”  My oldest loves to read!
• Caleb is becoming more and more verbal.  A few new words he says are: “ight” for “light”, “moo” for “moon”, “nana” for “banana”, and  “di-pah” for “diaper”.  He is such a little ham and he loves to be funny.
• We have lots of visitors lined up who are flying in to visit with us starting in mid-March through the beginning of May.  The Mellings, my mom and my brother, my sister and then my dad…we love it!

That’s it for now.  Come back soon for more blog posts of my grocery shopping trips, meal plans, pictures of my coupon binder, etc.