THE PETERSENS

These past few months have been full.  Full of life.  Full of events.  Full of fun.  Full of holidays.  Full of birthdays.  Full of baby showers.  And, unfortunately, full of SICKNESS.  My little family has been battling different viruses, colds, flus and childhood diseases every other week since a little before Thanksgiving!

I am not gonna lie…it has been really, really hard.  I have cried many times, wishing my mom was closer by so she could come help me with the kids or whip up a pot of her yummy Khmer chicken-rice soup.  I have struggled with loving my husband and kids well because my mind and body are so exhausted.  I have failed to be lovingly intentional with those in my community group.  My heart is tempted to be full of discontent.  My mouth overflows with grumbling.  And, my thoughts are full of pity for myself.  Everyday is a battle to believe in God and His promises. Once again, I believe the Lord is teaching me that TRUE JOY does not lie in my circumstances.  My TRUE JOY comes from Jesus Christ Himself and the affections which I have for my Savior.

This season of sickness (along with crazy busy-ness) always makes me long for heaven because there will be no sickness there.  Sound dramatic a little bit, huh?  Okay, maybe.  I know so many other people who have harder trials to walk through right now, but all the same, I do long for heaven.  My prayer right now is that I would endure this season well.  That I would be an example to my kiddos what it means to persevere in the big and small trials that the Lord gives.  And, how that perseverance gives way to character and character hope.

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Romans 5:3-5

Here are some cute pictures of the kids while they were fighting croup this past week:

Caleb is truly pitiful when he’s sick.  He wants to be held all the time and he refuses to sleep or eat.  Those are pretty essential things to getting better, don’t you think?

Then there’s JL.  With the exception of perhaps more of an inclination to disobey, JL is still his happy, content, little self when sick.
What a serious blessing!

We were able to keep him from crying constantly for a little bit by bundling him up in a soft blanky and covering him with some favorite stuffed animals.  Poor little man.

1.) Jesus

• The One who loves me steadfastly.
• The One who died on the cross to save me from my ugly sin.
• The One who has redeemed me and made me one of His very own.
• The One who is faithful toward His children, even when they are faithless.
• The One who gives eternal life.
• The One who saved me from God’s wrath and showered me with His mercy by the shedding of His blood on the cross.

2.) Ben

• My dear husband who, with God’s help, has led us through thick and thin.  He has seen me on my worst days and yet chooses to stay married to me!
• My dear husband who shares my first love, Jesus.  Ben loves our Savior more than life itself.  He even loves Him more than me and the boys…that is totally fine with me.
• My dear husband who tirelessly works hard to provide for our family’s needs.  He has a full plate of responsiblities, but even on the most stressful and discouraging work days, he is not prone to grumble.  I could stand to learn a lot from him.
• My dear husband who loves our boys so much.  Some of his favorite things to do with them lately is to tackle and tickle them until they can barely breathe.  Reading the Chronicles of Narnia and the Bible with them are also a high point of his day.
• My dear husband who seeks to serve others.  I often find him joyfully attacking the pile of dishes in the sink after dinner, taking out our stinky trash, washing out poopy cloth diapers or cleaning up the Leggett home after community group.
• My dear husband who always lets me have the last French fry, brings a glass of water to put on my nightstand at bedtime, warms up the cold sheets for me, puts gas in my car so I don’t have to, watches cheesy figure skating movies with me, and doesn’t get mad at me when I accidentally shave a bald spot on his head while cutting his hair.  This list can go on and on.  I love you, hon!

3.) My little boy, Joshua Lee

• My little boy that loves to spend time with me and looks forward to going on our donut date later this week.
• My little boy who is growing in His knowledge of the Lord.
• My little boy who loves his little brother so.  He helps Caleb lift heavy things.  He helps Caleb get unstuck from cramped spaces.  He tickles and tackles Caleb, sending Caleb into serious giggle fits.  He has compassion on his little brother when Caleb is hurt or sad.
• My little boy who has a tender heart.  Though he never got to meet Uncle Lee, he cries about his death.  He asks if people he holds dear loves Jesus; if they don’t, he immediately prays that they would.
• My little boy who never complains about being sick, going to the grocery store or having his normal routine interrupted.  Ben has apparently set a great example for him.
• My little boy who astonishes us with his intelligence.  Yesterday, he plopped down on our couch and started reading PARAGRAPHS out loud to his Daddy.  What???  Where did that come from???

4.) My littlest, Caleb Benjamin

• My littlest that still likes to be a snugglebug, even at 15 months old.
• My littlest who looks so much like me it boggles even my own dad.
• My littlest who loves toys that start with the letter “B”…balls, balloons, bears, books.
• My littlest who likes to hear words.  He points his little finger at everything and grunts, his way of asking us to name what he’s pointing.  One day out of nowhere, he will probably start talking in full sentences and I will probably poop my pants when he does.
• My littlest who loves his big brother, following JL all over the house (sometimes to JL’s dismay) and imitates what he does.
• My littlest who loves to throw food all over our floor.  Feeding him is a disaster, which is a complete paradox to how his big brother was at his age.

4.) My family

• My Daddy…who is slow to speak because he is wise and measures his words carefully.  He has loved this daughter well and I know it is because he realizes how much he is loved by God.
• My Mommy…who continues to serve God, her husband and kids, even though God has brought many trials into their life.  She will still maintain that her joy is in the Lord.
• My sister, Jambutt…who is my favorite person to laugh with, who understands my fear of dots, who adores my kids and wants to hear about every single detail of their lives, and who is generous in blessing others.
• My brother, Jonathan…whom I have watched grow up into a young man.  It is a highlight of my year whenever I get to see him.  It means that many more chances to love on him well!

5.) My church family at TCC

• My family away from family.
• My family whom I seriously live life with.  You guys help me fight against sin, encourage me with the Word and continually love me despite my sins.
• My family who has embraced my kids and loved on them.
• My family whom I have learned so much from…about what it looks like to love Jesus, what it means to live in community, what it means to treasure the Word and how I can better care for my husband and kids with joy.
• My family, given to us by the Lord God Almighty.  We are united by the blood of Christ and I look forward to spending eternity with each and every one of you!

Such as, neck pain!  Three years after the accident, I am still suffering from random bouts of neck and lower back pain.  Yesterday and today have been particularly bad.  It is days like these where I am tempted to believe lies such as these…

• God doesn’t care enough about me to heal me completely.
• I am all alone in my pain and distress with no one to help me…God doesn’t hear my prayers.
• I deserve to feel 27 years YOUNG…and not 27 years OLD.

So I have to turn my eyes and heart to Truth such as this…

• God does care about me and He loves me deeply.  That is why He has given me this “suffering.”  To rejoice in it, so that I turn myself to the hope I have in God.

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to  us. Romans 5:3-5

• I am not alone.  The Lord is always with me.  He will neither leave me nor forsake me.  Also, I am blessed to have my brothers and sisters at TCC who have offered to help me in various ways.  I am far from alone!

Blessed be the Lord!
For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
Psalm 28:6-7

• I deserve nothing, except the severe wrath of God!  All that I have right now is way more than I deserve already.  Instead, the Lord has shown me His mercy and He has made me His child.  I am a daughter of the King!

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a    good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we  have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled  to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.  More than that, we also rejoice in God through  our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. Romans 5:6-11

Meanwhile, I guess you’ll all be hearing a lot from me.  I’ve been trying to take it pretty easy, so I am resting on the couch a lot with laptop and cell phone on one side and Bible on the other and children tumbling around all over.  It’s a beautiful sight.